Breastfeeding Was Meant to Be Natural. For Her, It Was a Struggle

Mothers across Northern Ireland describe struggling to breastfeed as overstretched maternity services leave many to seek private help or give up altogether

When Suzanna Vallely gave birth to her fourth child, she expected breastfeeding to come more easily. Instead, she found herself struggling, exhausted, and ultimately paying out of pocket for help she says was unavailable through the health system.

“While women are told breastfeeding is the most ‘natural thing in the world’, for those who find it difficult it can be ‘a dark and lonely place’,” Ms Vallely told the BBC.

Ms Vallely, who lives in Northern Ireland, said midwives were often too busy to provide hands-on breastfeeding support. She eventually hired a lactation consultant, who helped with latching, positioning, pain management and improving her daughter’s weight gain. She also paid privately for tongue tie surgery after being told there was a waiting list.

According to official figures, Northern Ireland has the lowest breastfeeding rates in the United Kingdom. Data from the Public Health Agency shows that in July 2025 just over half of mothers, 51.8 percent, were breastfeeding when leaving hospital. By six weeks, that figure dropped to 36.8 percent. In England, more than half of mothers are still breastfeeding at six weeks.

Midwives say the figures reflect broader pressures on maternity services. Clare Livingstone of the Royal College of Midwives said midwives are “committed to helping families get the best possible start” but that UK maternity services “are under immense and sustained pressure”.

Deborah Rice, a spokesperson for the Breastival NI event, said changing attitudes alone were not enough if professional support remained stretched.

“Breastfeeding is a skill that needs hands-on guidance and consistent follow up – mums need access to trained professionals but it’s not always available,” Ms Rice said. “Though we are seeing good strides in attitude and support there is still a long way to go.”

A regional breastfeeding strategy published in 2024 found that a “considerable amount of progress” had been made in promoting and normalising breastfeeding. Still, it concluded that increasing breastfeeding rates in Northern Ireland remained a challenge.

Ms Vallely said the lack of consistent help took a toll on her mental and physical health after giving birth.

“I think it is a mixed bag of help that is available, my health visitor was unbelievably helpful in other areas but when it comes to breastfeeding support it is very much down to luck who you get and what time they have to help you,” she said. “Even with my fourth baby they expected me to know what I was doing but there were problems and they moved on to help a first time mum instead.”

Relief came from an unexpected place. Ms Vallely joined a gym in Bessbrook that supports breastfeeding mothers, allowing women to train alongside their babies and breastfeed or express milk during sessions. She said the environment helped restore both her confidence and her strength, eventually leading her to compete in a Hyrox fitness event.

“Supporting women to work out can help with mental health issues. It is a positive environment and getting the support to do all of this has been brilliant,” she said.

Natasha Daryaie, a personal trainer who runs mother and baby gym classes, said creating spaces where women feel comfortable breastfeeding while exercising can be transformative.

“It is so important as breastfeeding can be the loneliest time even if you have support at home,” she said. “Mums need to be supported both physically and mentally.”

Staffing shortages remain a central concern. In a statement, Ms Livingstone said midwives are often caring for “too many woman at once”, limiting the time they can dedicate to breastfeeding support.

“This is not a reflection of midwives’ skill or dedication but of a system which urgently needs investment,” she said. “Women deserve time, continuity and personalised support, and midwives need safe staffing levels and proper resources to be able to deliver this.”

Health officials say there has been gradual progress. Catherine Magennis, a nurse consultant and breastfeeding lead at the Public Health Agency, said breastfeeding rates in Northern Ireland are “lower than we would like them to be” but have been “steadily rising over the last 10 years”.

Experts warn that when support fails, women often blame themselves. Dr Nigel Rollins, a professor of maternal child health at Queen’s University Belfast and a former World Health Organization maternal health expert, said women frequently start breastfeeding with strong intentions, only to encounter problems without enough skilled help.

“Women who reluctantly give formula often do so as there isn’t enough skilled support available to help them,” Dr Rollins said. He added that many women carry long-lasting feelings of guilt and disappointment, without recognising how gaps in the health system contributed to their experience.

Ms Vallely said that despite the difficulties, breastfeeding remains deeply meaningful for her.

“There are the nutritional benefits but also I like it for connecting with the baby – it has been at times difficult but overall a wonderful journey,” she said.

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